Psalm 63:1 says “O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.”

Psalm 63:1 in my life looks more like this… In a dry and weary land where there is no water my soul thirsts for You. My flesh Yearns for you. O God, You are my God. I should seek you earnestly.

Permit me to be honest? Completely. 100%. Totally honest.

When people ask me how I’m doing these days I’m not entirely sure how to respond. I normally say “good” or “okay” because all in all life is good for me in comparision to those around the world and okay is just a cop out answer to keep people from asking more. Yet, sometimes I wonder how I should be responding. Am I good? Am I okay? Especially on days like today when I recognize what a dry and weary land I find myself in am. Am I really “good” or “okay” when I’m going through the motions?

I don’t know how I got here. I didn’t go looking for the desert. Yes, I visited one for the first time ever this summer, but it’s not like I thought hmmm…. I like the green, lush area, but I’m ready for a change… No. I know that some carelessness in neglecting my soul and heart helped get me here. Days without time in the Word helped get me here. Time spent talking AT the Lord, but not listening to the Lord helped get me here… But, there had to be more, right?

Maybe. Yes, I’ve been bruised by life over the last year or more. Yes, I’ve hurt in various situations and hurt over hurting multiple others when there was nothing I could do otherwise, but I do not think that these things along with just the neglect of being in the Word daily and talking AT the Lord instead of with the Lord is entirely responsible.

Rather, I’m determined to figure out what happened. When did I turn into this dry and weary land? When did I become more concerned with life and the unknowns/changes/stressors than about just knowing the Lord and taking life a day at a time? When did I stop wanting to know the Lord more than I wanted to know the Lord’s answers for my life?

Oh, God… You are my God. My soul thirsts for You. I’m a dry and weary land without water, yet I shall seek You earnestly.