Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains…

What about faith as small as a grain of sand? Can it land a job? Give clarity over the future… I wish. This walk is hard. I’ve been realizing lately (and very convicted over the fact) that I don’t believe God to give me His best… It’s like I feel I’m stuck with leftovers or just left wanting and somehow what I am given (or not given) is not His best for me. Be it not choice-opportunities, lack of opportunities, not knowing where I’ll be living 6 months from now, or just A BUNCH of question marks right now… I am simply not trusting God. In fact, friends… I’m ashamed to say that I almost feel myself becoming frustrated with God these days. Yes, I know deep down He is good. Yes, I believe He is sovereign and supplies every need, but when it seems that I never get what I want (see the problem?), I am sooo thrown off by thinking He doesn’t love me as much He should or as much as the person who got what they wanted… Oh, such a small, pathetic faith I have….

I have been beat down, slandered, lied about, gossiped about, cried many tears, put in long hours, been exposed to LOTS of things that make me ache, and had multiple days of no prep period only to come to the end and be soo wordless about this experience and what to think that I’m almost scared (I’m almost NEVER wordless)…

But words aren’t always needed. Sometimes tears do the job… and today’s tears came when I read this note from a student in a card that came with a purple teddy bear…

Dear Miss Unthank,

I will miss you over the summer. I had a great time with you in sixth grade. I am surprised and really appreciate that you put up with so much. Even when it was very hard, you hung in there because you cared about us so much. I have never seen or met a teacher like you that would put up with that much. A lot of people have been disrespectful and rude to you. But that’s because they don’t appreciate what you have done for us. On the other hand, I really appreciate what you have done. Once again I will miss you over the summer and I love having you as a teacher.

Love,

(student’s name), your #1 student

God… I wish I could have shown them your love so much better. So often I feel I failed… but if one student, one student gets it… to YOU be the glory.

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